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Co-Dependency Treatment Program

Figuring out what codependency is can be confusing at times, but it is basically a behavior that many adults end up struggling with when a family member or loved one is using drugs or alcohol. It’s a strong feeling you need someone else; often the feeling is one in which daily life is a struggle to survive without that person, even if that person is not behaving in your best interest. Codependence often leads to a higher chance of:

  • Relationship problems
  • Addictive behavior
  • Compulsive demeanor

Codependence can also be a combination of:

  • Immature rationale
  • Unconcerned relationship with oneself
  • Self-loathing
  • Unreasonable self-sacrificial behavior
“Someone else’s happiness being your happiness is not love, its dependency. Too often we confuse codependency with love. Be your own person, and find your own happiness.” – Unknown

Who Typically Becomes Affected by Codependency?

Generally, codependency was the named coined for people who were living or in a relationship with a substance or alcohol-dependent person. The term is also used for those who are in a relationship with people who are mentally ill. Nowadays, however, it has often been expanded to include people who are from a dysfunctional family.

Codependency normally, most profoundly, affects the people surrounding the person with alcohol or drug dependence. They can be:

  • A spouse
  • Parents
  • Siblings
  • Friends
  • Co-workers

Behavior of a Codependent Person

Codependent people generally have low self-respect and confidence. They tend to feel better by looking for positives outside of themselves and find it hard to be themselves, especially around others that they are not codependent with. Some try to make themselves feel better by indulging in illegal substances or alcohol; while others gravitate towards compulsive behaviors like gambling or careless sexual behavior.

People with codependency issues typically have good intentions. They normally find themselves taking good care of the person having all of the difficulties that come along with addiction or mental health issues, but the nurturing can become compulsive and overpowering. Codependents often adopt a victim’s role and regularly become the scapegoat of the person with the problems.

“Codependency is driven by the agreement that I will work harder on your problem and your life that you do. This is not love.” – Unknown

The biggest issue that most people have with codependency is that once a person tries to correct the harmful behaviors and fails, their co-dependent tendencies tend to become even stronger. As these tendencies grow, the codependent person begins to rely on feeling wanted by the other, and a pattern quickly forms. It can happen in very little time: attempts are made to fix the negative behaviors, they fail, the feelings grow, and the person feels more wanted. This then becomes how the people exist, damaging or not.

Eventually, the codependent people begin to see themselves as victims that are drawn to each other because they both rely on that victimization and feeling of attachment that comes with it.

Common Characteristics You Will See in a Codependent Person

Some of the most common characters a codependent person exhibits, can include some of the following:

  • An overblown sense of liability for the behavior of the person they are codependent to
  • The habit of doing more than is required in everything they do, especially for that singular person
  • Holding on to an unhealthy relationship just so they do not feel alone
  • Inadequacy to trust oneself or the people around you
  • Deceitful and dishonest behavior, especially to cover the behaviors of their codependent
  • A severe need for acceptance and approval from others
  • Struggles with figuring out how you feel
  • Poor communication skills
  • Exaggeration in both positive and negative situations

Codependency Treatment

Considering that codependency is ordinarily a result of issues from a person’s childhood, treatment generally incorporates an examination of codependents early issues and the person’s association with the ongoing harmful behaviors. Treatment for a codependency disorder often includes:

  • Teaching the person about the problem
  • Experiential groups to give a broader understanding of what is going on
  • Individual therapy to deal with the person’s issues directly
  • Group therapy to allow the person to open up and heal with others

At His House, codependency therapy involves talking about your experiences, and listening to the experiences of others. You will likely see yourself in some of the pictures that others paint of their own lives, which can help you understand the dysfunction of your own world. The best way to remove the destructive behaviors from your life is to go through a full codependency treatment program, as that will allow you to notice the behaviors in their infancy, instead of falling back into old behaviors without even realizing it.

“Unconditional love doesn’t mean you have to unconditionally accept bad behaviors.” - Unknown

Steps in Codependency Treatment

When it comes to treating codependency, you need four things. You need to first get sober. This will bring your world back under control, and allow you to see things for what they truly are. Next, you need to learn how to recognize what is going on in your life. You need to see the addiction, the misbehavior that is going on in and around you, and the manipulation of emotions that occurs with codependency. You must then accept that you are in need of help so that you can accept the help that is being offered to you, and learn how to put it to good use in your life. This can help boost your self-esteem, and improve your self-confidence. Finally, you will learn how to take action in your life and measure the things you are doing appropriately. Once you learn to do this, you will know what behavior is appropriate, and which are things that you can put into your past, allowing you to heal and move forward with your life!

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Call today to learn more about His House and our co-dependency treatment program.


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